10 Signs of a toxic friend:
- Toxic friends constantly speak negatively about others
- Toxic friends can be inconsistent
- Toxic friends lack empathy
- Toxic friends want attention on them, instead of you
- Toxic friends make you question your worth and value
- Toxic friends constantly discredit you
- Toxic friends aren’t consistent in your friendship
- Toxic friends only respond when it’s convenient for them
- Toxic friends envy your success
- Toxic friends are poor listeners
So, instead of allowing their negative mindset and energy to project onto you, learning to set healthy boundaries can be an effective tool in dealing with toxic friendships.
A healthy boundary is simply a space between you and another person. Think of it as a fence between two neighbors, both have their own space, yet live in close proximity. The fence is simply there to show whose property belongs to whom. This allows each neighbor to respect the other person’s space. Learning to set our own healthy boundaries, in any relationship, is an exercise in personal freedom and respect. This allows you to get to know yourself and what you stand. When setting a healthy boundary, you must learn to communicate without blaming yourself or others. When you are able to communicate, healthily, there is honesty. Learn, to be honest about how you feel, regardless of the situation.
An unhealthy boundary is when a consequence is not set. In any relationship, whether with a parent, sibling, or friend, never state something you are not willing to follow through on. Be at a point where you know when you are ready to walk away, physically or mentally. Setting healthy boundaries is essential in long-lasting relationships, but when you do not re-enforce them and continue to accept someone else’s behavior, it only gives the other person an excuse to continue the same old behavior. When you choose to set a healthy boundary, you are not making a threat. You are simply giving someone else choices and the consequences of their unhealthy decisions. You cannot control what another person chooses to do with his or her life, but you can control what another person chooses to do with you. Sometimes this means letting go of unhealthy people in our lives so we can become the healthiest we are meant to be. Learning to set healthy boundaries will not only give you respect from others but will inhibit growth beyond measure.
10 tips for setting healthy boundaries:
- Identify the actions and behaviors you find unacceptable
- Learn to say no sometimes
- Know that you do have the right to personal freedom
- Practice self-awareness
- Recognize and acknowledge your own feelings
- Make self-care a priority
- Seek support
- Give yourself permission
- Take time apart from those you love
- Be assertive and kind
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