There is a lesson that can be learned in almost everything. But so often, somewhere along the way, we choose to settle because we think it’s the only choice we have. But that is SO far from the truth! Below are some of the most common things I think most people (including myself) settle for in life when in reality we could strive for so much greater!
“You cannot learn how to love someone else in a relationship until you learn to love yourself in singleness.”
Once you begin to respect yourself, others will start to respect you as well. When it comes to dating, one of my biggest tips is to stay true to who you are, know what you want, and do not settle. First, staying true to who you are, means not straying away from your beliefs or things that you enjoy, just for the sake of having someone like you. If you have to change yourself, habits, or ways of acting for someone else’s approval, most likely your relationship with that person will not last long. Strive towards having a loving and lasting relationship by being unapologetically yourself.
Second, knowing what you want means taking the time to know what you are looking for in a potential partner. I suggest writing a list of everything you look for in a mate and keeping it somewhere where you can see it often.
Finally, do not settle. Not settling means not falling for the first person that shows interest in you. Through your unique journey, there will be plenty of people that will show interest in you. From experience, I highly recommend you become friends with the person you are interested in and really get to know them before getting super serious. Just like a tall building cannot stand without a strong foundation, start building a strong foundation for your relationship with friendship.
A Unfulfilling Career
Imagine what would happen if you walked into a job interview knowing exactly what you wanted, knew you non-negotiables, and never settled for anything less than that? Knowing when to say no to an unfulfilling career will not only help give you the confidence to make the right decision but will also lead you to a career that makes you truly happy.
Desires and Identity
Have you ever wanted to do something so badly, only to lose interest after hearing someone else’s opinion about it? So often we have a mis-view of who we are when we put our identity in another person. Each one of us is uniquely designed with different likes and dislikes, as well as different interests. No one alike to another. So, why do we think we’ll be more comfortable in the value, opinion, and identity of someone else? So listen to what others have to say, and ask questions to help you understand their point of view better. But always remember to NEVER lose yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else. There will always be someone out there who will try and convince you otherwise and persuade you a different way. Know your worth, know your value, and never settle for anything less than that. (you’ll end up attracting like-minded people along the process, as well!).
RELATED: ‘Learning How To Love Yourself’
An Unhealthy Lifestyle
“Well it’s what I grew up doing”, “It’s a genetic thing”, or “It’s just what everyone else around me is doing right now”. These are all things I hear from people who are settling for an unhealthy lifestyle. This can be anything from the foods they eat, their physical activity and health, to their community environments. Regardless of your situation, the more you say things like that the more your brain will start to believe them. Just because you grew up a certain way, doesn’t mean that “way” will always be with you. Just because you were in an abusive relationship, doesn’t mean you’ll always be in abusive relationships. Just because your friends are involved/doing something that isn’t necessarily right, doesn’t mean you have to take part in it. You have the power to break ANY pattern or habit, whether it’s from your childhood, your friends, or even your past. You are not your past. You are not what someone says negatively about you. And most importantly you have the power to create new healthy habits.
“When you have had a taste of excellence you cannot go back to mediocrity.”
How often have you told yourself that you can’t do something? And how often have you allowed that insecure voice inside of you hold you back from something you truly wanted, to just settle? So often we don’t pursue something simply out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, or even the fear of change. Being mediocre may seem like the safer bet at the time, but in the long run, will not allow for much personal growth and development. When you settle for mediocrity once, it becomes a lot easier to do it again and again. Eventually, you’ll just accept the pattern of having a mediocre life. The only way to break that pattern is through the small choices we make each day. Life is full of choices, and it’s what we do with them that defines us. So instead of just doing what you’re comfortable with, staying within familiarities, choose to take one step further. Stand apart and rise above the normalities of life.
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